Saturday, August 05, 2006

2 inFURiating 2 BEAR

One bear's last meal...no pic-a-nic for this hapless hiker

leftovers - human remains after bear has feeding frenzy

AMERICA: The HIBER-NATION
Do pictures like this upset you? Well, they should. We, as a nation, should be FURious over things like this happening to our fellow man. It's time for all of us to come out of hibernation and join the GRRReat men like Bear Slayer in putting a stop to the Number One (#1) Threat Facing America - killer bears.

Sure, there are those nay-sayers (or rather - nay-slayers) who oppose this movement, but mankind must begin to take this matter more seriously or face grrrave consequenses. Visit Bear Slayer's site for yourself and help support this movement.

Still not taking taking this seriously? Still think this is all just a big lie? A joke, even? Consider the following ancient manuscripts that were recently uncovered in a North American cave:

suspicious trigonometric formulas

But wait, there's more:

suspicious trigonometric formulas

Is it mere coincidence that these ancient formulas were discovered inside a cave - common ground for the man-eating-killing bear? Notice the complete absence of the term ursine in today's mathematical formulae - why has the terminology been changed? Is it to lull mankind into a sense of complacence? Note the frequent use of the bear-friendly spelling of terms such as TriGRRnometric, deFURnition and trianGRRR. Isn't it odd that the formula for urs (ursine) is OPPOSITE SIDE over MANKIND; i.e. our OPPOSING SIDE (bears) reigning OVER MANKIND (us)? So it seems that even though a spelling bee may be smarter than a talking dog, a mathematically-inclined-scientifically-minded-man-eating-killing bear trumps them both.....

Do you not realize that this is proof that bear's were once our master? Do you not now see the dire need to eliminate this furmidable foe? How much longer can mankind bear this threat? This will be no pic-a-nic, but we must stop the bears before it's too late. We did it to the Dodo Birds, we can do it to The Bears.....

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymouse said...

LOL Is this for real or what?

6:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If in doubt, go ask the bear...

10:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These mathematical formulas are hilarious, as is your summary..LOL!!

12:37 PM  
Blogger C of S said...

Sheer brilliance. Both educational and horrifying. Not only are bears savage killers, but they're also good at math? Holy crap, we barely stand a chance.

7:29 PM  
Anonymous mel said...

ewww that pic is gross!

3:51 PM  
Blogger Bear Slayer said...

Mike,

What is the deal with you acting like a valley girl? That is almost as bizarre as your bear equations and nonstop puns. Spend more time working so you can contribute to my most important anti-bear campaign.

Regards,

Bear Slayer

7:33 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Whaaaa!?!?! Valley Grrl!?! Moi??? Seems I've heard of this "valley grrl" you refer to, but I'm quite sure I don't know what you're implying. Perhaps somebody has been using my pc to login on their own separate blogger account (if, indeed, she uses a blogger account). Work, I'm continuing, and contribute, I shall! Death to the bears!

As ever,

Mike

8:19 PM  
Blogger Jimena said...

I saw that picture of the bear eating the guy brutal eh?

9:28 AM  
Blogger Lizza said...

Poor humans...and poor bears too.

Where's that meme, Mike? :-)

1:01 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

The meme is in it's final stages! I'm having some software problems that are making alot of the things I'm trying to do next to impossible - and I seek perfection in my projects, no matter how horrible they really are.....

1:09 PM  

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