Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I, Digress

In honor of World Earth Day (which I only became aware of thanks to this blog) I'd thought about doing my part by "recycling" one of my old posts, but since I'll be doing that often enough anyway I've decided instead to put a rush on the most recent post I've been working on. Coincidentally, the last panel of cartoon content is unusually timely...

I've always thought 'I, Digress' - as a word-play on 'I, Claudius' - would be a nice title for a book containing a collection of my short stories. As is my wont, instead of actually putting the collection together (or even finishing my stories!) my mind began thinking about ancient Rome. (Yes, I'm so easily distracted that the simple phrase 'I, Claudius' led my mind down an alternate road of thought heehee) Anyway, somehow I eventually digressed even more and started to wonder what an ancient-Roman Jerry Seinfeld standup comedy act might be like. Now, I'm not enough of an artist to actually illustrate this concept, say in a cartoon or something, and I am in a rush to get this posted today, so you'll just have to use your imagination (if your computer will let you) for this first bit.....

(the scene: Roman amphitheatre filled with audience watching the famed comedian performing...)

Jerromus Seinfeldius: Did you ever wonder why they call it the Parthenon?
(murmurs throughout crowd)
Jerromus Seinfeldius: I mean, I've never seen it ON anything, have you?
("hey, he's right about that...")
Jerromus Seinfeldius: Maybe they should call it the ParthenOFF instead.....

J.S.: Did you ever notice that Cassius and Brutus are always standing just a LITTLE too close to Julius Caesar???("that's true - they're always right up in his personal space for some odd reason...")
J.S.: I mean, come on, Julius HAS to notice this, he's gotta be like "Hey, Cassius, and you, Brutus, you two are KILLING me - give me some breathing room already!"

J.S.: And what's the DEAL with Caligula? I mean, come on - making his horse the emporer!?!
(more murmurs and chuckles)
J.S.: We all know that a horse is never going to bring about any real change in government anyway. You already know exactly how he's going to vote every single time when it comes time for the 'yeas and nays...'
("it's funny 'cause it's true!")

And since I had already taken it that far, I got to thinking about what a prehistoric dinosaur version of Jerry Seinfeld would be like...
(scroll as necessary)

These jokes are ancient, but they're still dino-mite!

This was quite a feat today, eh?


Anonymous Steve said...

Yuh you're not an artist! But I like the Pixies and this was worth a laugh. You shoulda had a Kramer in there somewhere.

3:45 PM  
Anonymous AnAussieOfNote said...

This is cute! Thank you for the visits and the "congrats" - you may be the next one. ;)

4:16 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Steve: Finally someone commented on my music widget - yay! (btw I'm no artist, but your link is broken?)

Aussie: Nice hearing people are at least getting a kick out of this today - I put alot more work into this post than you'd think lol.

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Loved your blog entry for today!
Keep it up :-)
How about doing one on global warming?

I could not help but comment on one of the comments; I sure hope Steve is not an English major, but then, he is no writer, either-LOL

7:36 PM  
Blogger Libby said...

funny! (i like dinosaurs...& seinfeld!)

9:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love Seinfled and this post. Thanks for visiting me. Hope the sun is shining there- it's gorgeous here.

12:50 PM  
Blogger Lizza said...

That was fun to read, Mike.

But you left out the ancient Roman version of Elaine!

2:06 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

I get the feeling that I'm the real-life version of George.....

3:29 PM  
Blogger kathcom said...

You know when you write out a long intelligent comment to leave on someone's post and then right when you hit Publish, it disappears?

And then you don't have the energy to remember it and rewrite it? That happened to me on your blog a few weeks ago and it's taken me until just now to come back. Now I can't find that post.

So anyway, well done. I'm sorry I can't be a better reader. If you're reading this, it didn't disappear again. If you're not reading it, I may be on the island in Lost.

5:44 PM  
Blogger Terra Shield said...

I am impressed...

I agree with Lizza... tis a fun read

1:11 AM  
Blogger Rob-bear said...

HI Mike: I dropped over as promised.

And I thought it would be complicated enough to simply call myself Rob-Bear. The contortions you've gone through -- oh my goodness!

Speaking of Caligula making his horse the emperor, there are lots of governments made up entirely of some horse's nether end.

That will teach you to paws by the Bear's place.

1:16 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

kathkom: I actually think I do remember reading this same comment before - thanks for coming back!

Terra Shield: Thank you - I really do need validation from those I am impressed with (like I said earlier, a real-life George...)

Rob-bear: Thanks to you, too, for dropping by. Yes, I can sometimes turn a post into a semantic gymnastics fest - I think most people just grin and bear it...

1:47 PM  
Blogger Rob-bear said...

Yes, indeed.

Then, there's the story of the female who decided to grin and bare it. Said female was a human, not a bear. Otherwise the story might have been unbearable.

7:09 PM  

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