Monday, October 31, 2005

Actually, it WAS like "rocket science" to get the thing to work.....

France, always on the cutting edge, enters the space age...

while (!correctDirection) {
if (checkDirection()) {
// correctDirection = true;
// TODO: uncomment above line in production

from pwot caption contest

Saturday, October 29, 2005

People often ask me, "Why are you bleeding?"

I was thinking today about one of the funnier (okay, dumber and stranger) things I've ever managed to say out loud....some friends and I had been talking about something or other and somehow the conversation took a turn that led me to ask, "Don't you hate it when you hear those popping, exploding sounds in your head?" *strange glances all around* (oh say you've never heard those sounds, right next to your temple sometimes it feels and sounds like a vein just blew up inside your brain?...hmm... *eyes dart back and forth* ...) Needless to say, nobody had ever heard those sounds before and I NEVER HAVE EITHER! But, it got me to thinking and I came up with this little goof:

Top Ten Things People Often Ask Me:
(and my Top Ten Replies)

1. "Don't you hate it when you hear those popping, exploding sounds in your head?"

2. "Why are you bleeding?"
"Why AM I bleeding?"

3. "What are you looking at, punk?"
"What are YOU looking at, punk?" (usually followed by "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?")

4. "What are you crying about now, b*tch?"
*...sniffle, sniffle...* (usually followed by "...okay, you wouldn't hit a guy with yellow teeth, would you?")

5. "Do you have any outstanding warrants, Mr. Stiltskin?"

6. "Do you realize it's a felony to give false information to a police officer?"
"I do now."

7. "Do you want fries with that?"
"I do now."

8. "Why is your hand on my butt?"
"That depends on what your defintion of IS is..."

9. "Is this your first time?"
"Who me? ME!?! Oh Noooooooo, I've done it LOTS of times...and stop asking so many questions - I'm not paying you to talk!"

10. "Awww, you're a Vietnam Vet, aren't you?"
"No, why? Wait - what!?! What makes you even think that...!?!"

NOTE: This is simply a joke, folks. Absolutely nothing here is meant to be taken seriously, okay? Trust me, I would NEVER eat french fries from that place! Seriously, tho, I didn't mean to offend any of the following: people who bleed, their blood, people who wear glasses, people who hit people who wear glasses, bullies, wimps, people with yellow teeth, honest citizens, french fries, women with butts, Bill Clinton, prostitutes, johns, virgins, liars, Vietnam vets or the lady at the gas station in Austin 15 years ago who thought I was one (a vet, that is...ahem).

Friday, October 28, 2005

un-nomination unanimous...what's up with all these shady 'Harriet' types???

Bush Stung As Miers Withdraws Nomination
AP - Thu Oct 27,11:15 PM ET
WASHINGTON - In a striking defeat for President Bush, White House counsel Harriet Miers on Thursday abandoned her bid to become a Supreme Court justice after three weeks of brutal criticism from fellow conservatives. The Senate's top Republican predicted a replacement candidate within days.

In a related story.....

alleged shopkeeper Harriet Oleson
WALNUT GROVE (AP) - This just in.....Reports have surfaced that indicate
Harriet Olesen had never actually even worked in a mercantile before she married Nels.

Doe - a deer (a female deer)

Here's something pretty cool.....
NOT an actual photo

Driving home yesterday on a two-way, four-lane highway we noticed some kind of furry, white animal standing on the shoulder of the road. This caught my attention at first because it looked like a REALLY BIG GOAT, but when we got closer we realized it was most definitely a deer! I've never seen a white deer like that in all my life! She was just standing there, looking all scared, staring at the traffic. Don't worry, she eventually ran off into the brush shortly after we passed her, but I thought it was pretty amazing to have actually seen a white deer.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

My homemade 'You might be a redneck if...' joke

If yooooooou've ever had to fix a flat tire - (drum roll plz.....) - ON YOUR HOUSE......yooooooooooooooooooou might be a redneck.

Oh, yeah, and if yooooooou've ever sat around making up a 'redneck' joke and then actually posted it to a blog and referred to it as 'homemade,' yoooooooooooooooooou might be a redneck.


Tuesday, October 25, 2005

There are only 10 types of people in the world:

Those who understand binary and those who don't.

Now that Halloween is arriving, I'm reminded of a timely little joke:
Q. Why do Computer Scientists and Mathematicians always get Christmas and Halloween confused?
A. Because DEC 25 = OCT 31.

BOO! (hiss...groan...)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

hmm....guess I'd better post something....

little ol' me
I was going to ask wesaturtle if she would put this up on her page just to see how many people would be able to figure this out (or if it even puzzled anyone), but now that I have this blogspot I'll just put it here myself while I'm getting used to posting here.....

O.K., you know how we're all familiar with certain letters and abbreviations, like scuba (self-contained underwater breathing apparatus), RSVP, FEMA, J.F.K., etc.? Well, I drove myself nuts for about a week once trying to figure out why these six certain letters seemed so familiar to me - when I finally realized what these letters were I thought it was hilarious, so for my first trial posting here I'll see how long it takes any of you to figure out where these letters come from/what they mean....let me know if you recall what they're from and how long it took you to figure it out.

...the letters WYSIWYG make you think of 'what you see is what you get,' right?

...QWERTY makes you think of your keyboard style, right?

...alright, do the letters R S T L N E seem at all familiar to you? If they do, where have you seen these letters before and how long did it take you to remember???