Friday, August 25, 2006

Back In A Flash

Thursday, August 24, 2006

You've Seen The Bestest, Now See The Restest

Well LA-DI-DA!!! Bestest, Shmestest!!!
I've been wasting spending all of my time some of my time boring everyone talking about how great my sensational internet meme is and discussing the far-reaching effects it's having on mankind, so I thought I'd give everyone a break and mention that Lizza probably has a crush on me earned and now officially holds a
Bestest Blog Of The Day title! That doesn't make her better than me, though. Or better than my film 'An Space Ode'. (now with over 1,000 views!) If you haven't visited her site, I Am Woman, See Me Blog!, you really need to go check it out. She's far less interested in me than I'm leading you to believe more interesting than anything you'll see here, so go have a look! She, as well as many others, has been good about linking her readers to my now-classic meme, which probably contributed to her current status as Beste- ACK, who am I kidding?

Seriously, congratulations to Lizza on a job well done! (or should I have said "a blog well done?") *note to self: work on punchlines a little more

Now, back to me. I fixed and rigged posted a caption contest yesterday because I'm a big baby and a cheat sick and tired of never winning the ones over at Pointless Waste Of Time perfect name for it, too . Actually, I did win one once,
this one, but for some reason my caption wasn't posted on the "front page" winner's section for the day - the second place caption was there instead! I know that was intentional, so I'm "accidentally" forgetting to add links to that site every time I mention it heeheehee. So, in reality, all I really wanted was to see my caption right up front (er, underneath) with the photo... Sure enough, (big surprise!), I actually even lost my own caption contest! But I came in a very, very close second, so I can live with that. okay, technically third, since two people tied for first so, yeah, technically last, since there were only three entries, counting mine... C of S!!! Lizza!!! Oh well, it was my caption people saw first anyway muahaahaaahaaaa.....

I shouldn't be giving the guys at Pointless Waste Of Time a hard time, though...there is at least one person over there who isn't a complete dolt! hmm, nope, nothing to strikethru in the previous sentence In a forum discussion over one particular caption contest, pfft! get a life somebody's winning caption was being discussed as possibly the funniest EVER good grief and maybe even the best in memory guess they missed all of my entries, but one lone genius saw through all the smoke and mirrors and mentioned that my 2nd-place entry "wasn't too bad either." emphasis mine lol no, seriously lol lol You can probably think of a million better things to do see the riveting discussion

Alright, Okay, enough of my little tantrum, I presume..... Hey, I was just thinking, I presume - wouldn't it be hilarious if I added the little sound effects for punctuation in my sentences like that one guy on TV used to do? Oops, or should I have said "like that one guy on TV used to do{boi-oi-oing}" Hmm, I'll have to work on starting to do that (as long as it isn't too distracting...) Hmm{kehr} I{chik}ll have to work on starting to do that {phwift}as long as it isn{chik}t too distracting{tclotd}{tclotd}{tclotd}{phwift}

Yep, Well, now that I've failed miserably at my attempt to create an internet meme, namely 'An Space Ode' developed a taste for (not to mention a flair for) creating things on the cutting edge, I've decided to push the envelope and employ modern technology to do my first "vid-e-o blog" or "vlog" on this here "com-pu-ter" - this'll put me in the running for Bestest Blog and I'll show Lizza what's what. I may post a few trivial, token posts yeah, like anyone will notice the difference over the next few days while I'm completing this new, cutting-edge "shock blog" project that might become the next big internet sensation! Competing directly against Lizza should really impress her, and the more I try to impress her, the more she'll like me I bet

The suspense will be killing you and I both, but don't worry - I'll be back! Back with a'll see! Literally - you will see! In my video blog! har,har,har

Oh yeah, I've forgotten to mention this for like a week now In the meantime, I've just discovered
this site. If you've ever noticed those 1-second flashes of a text-filled card at the end of some of Chuck Lorre's television productions (like Two And A Half Men) and wondered what he was saying, you can read them at your own pace here.....

See you soon..... Literally! Yes, they got that "see you" thing relating to the "vlog" thing the first time I've got to start working on the jokes a little more, it's all about timing, or something like that.....

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

My Own Private Caption Contest

mystery photo to be captioned
Where in the world is this car, man, San Diego?

CSI: Blog

chung chung!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Ode To Self

My film briefly bounced up and down the Top Favorites on YouTube alongside some stiff competition...

Yep, that's my film ranked in the YouTube Top Favorites...circled in yellow...right to Jiggling Jana. (click to enlarge if you must) Talk about stiff competition! Poor little Dave was looking like a deer caught in the headlights, wasn't he? Needless to say, I felt like a real boob when I saw the kind of videos I was up against! Quite a pair, me and ol' Jiggling Jana, that is - we both briefly bounced up and down all around the Top 100 that day. She was making my little film look like a real bust! I'm telling you, it was all I could do to stay abreast of her! I'm sorry for ranting on and on about this - I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. (Yep, I'm milking this little routine for everything it's worth, so to speak.....) In case you're wondering, I did watch the jiggling video (you know, just to see what I was up against...), and I feel I most definitely deserved to come out on top of her. Oh, and yes, I think they were real. lol

Anyway, let's scroll on down and take at a look at the results of my epic, sweeping internet meme...come on, have a look-see with me!

The effect on YouTube, thusly:
screenshot from YouTube featuring An Space Ode
(clickably enlargable)

Debuting last Sunday, my now-famous internet meme has within it's first week received 786 views, 11 comments, a 4 1/2 star rating, Honors in the Comedy category for #78 Most Discussed for a day, and #66 Top Favorite for a day.

The effect on the stats of My Webbed Feat, specifically, thusly:
screenshot of My Webbed Feat stats
(clickably enlargable)

Debuting last Sunday, my now-famous internet meme has generated, or helped contribute to, an average of 74 visits per day this week to my blog - with a high of 101 hits and a low of 37.

So, have I learned anything from my shallow dabble into the glitzy world of internet-meme-production? This, I presume, and only this: I'm not quite sure I really know what a meme is anymore...not quite sure at all.....

screenshot from 'An Space Ode' - presumably the biggest, best, most far-reaching internet meme to date.....

(See An Space Ode here)

Saturday, August 19, 2006


The Breeders - Safari

More Art

Continuing yesterday's artsy theme: These first thumbnails are some samples of Liquid Sculpture by Martin Waugh. Since I'm not related to this particular artist I did obtain permission to post these..... You can see more of his work here.

BigWetOneRed - Liquid Sculpture - Fine art photography of drops and splashes (c)2006 Martin Waugh BigWetOneRed

Bell - Liquid Sculpture - Fine art photography of drops and splashes (c)2006 Martin Waugh Bell

OldGloryBowl - Liquid Sculpture - Fine art photography of drops and splashes (c)2006 Martin Waugh OldGloryBowl

WhiteVaseOnBlue - Liquid Sculpture - Fine art photography of drops and splashes (c)2006 Martin Waugh WhiteVaseOnBlue

Liquid Sculpture - Fine art photography of drops and splashes (c)2006 Martin Waugh

In case you haven't seen any of these before, here are some examples of what graphic artists do when they're bored..... (the pandas are my favorite) (no offense to Bear Slayer - it's just that I was a big KISS fan growing up...)






And finally, I'm not much of a graphic design artiste, but I do get bored alot - this is the kind of grand-scale, epic, internet-meme-thingy that I do when I'm bored.....

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Ba-ba-ba Ba-Barbara Garvin

I thought I'd try to class up this joint a little by showing some real, live Art (to make up for what my not-looking-so-healthy meme has done). These thumbnails represent just a few of the paintings done by Barbara Garvin. I'm not really much of an artsy person, but since Mrs. Garvin is my aunt I figure I'll run with this theme for a post or two.....

Valley View Trail by Barbara Garvin
Quiet Time by Barbara Garvin
Augeria Time by Barbara Garvin
Cook's A' Coming by Barbara Garvin
Sunbeams And Snowdust by Barbara Garvin

To be honest, I've never actually met this particular aunt of mine. But, when I was a teenager, my brother and I went to The Country Store in Austin, Texas to look at some of her paintings and when we mentioned that we were Barbara's nephews the owner of the art gallery took us into a locked, private vault to let us view her more expensive paintings in private. Pretty cool, huh? He told us he'd give us a discount on any of her works that we liked - we asked about one of the smaller ones and he said he'd let us have it for like five thousand I guess she's definitely somebody in the art world!

Now You're It

I've been tagged by Lizza! I've read through the questions once, so now I'm just going to answer them right off the top of my bald little head without too much thought (or else I'll end up turning this into a major project, as is my wont...).

1a) If you could have dinner with any three people (except Mohammed, Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi) then who would they be? (don't say Mother Teresa either)

I'm assuming we're supposed to choose from celebrity-types, so I'll pick:
Jane Fonda
A. Jane Fonda
Shirley MacLaine
B. Shirley MacLaine
Lorraine Bracco
C. Lorraine Bracco

*Simply because I've always found these women extremely attractive

1b) What would you eat? either steak or mexican food
1c) What restaurant would it be? no restaurant, I'd do the cooking

2) If you could force everyone in the world to read one book (except for the Quran or the Bible) what would it be?

Hmm, can't say the Bible, huh? Well, the only other book I've read almost as many times as the Bible is Crime And Punishment by Dostoevski, but I don't think I'd force anyone to read that (it's definitely not light reading).....
read,read,read's too hard to pick just one, but it would probably have to be something by Rudyard Kipling, O. Henry, Jack London or maybe even Robert Bloch.

3) Is there a TV show you'd cancel dinner with your best friend for, if you knew that a new episode was going to be aired once only? What is it?
The Office (this character's name is Michael, too!)
Maybe The Office?

4) If someone told you that you could only have one hobby/favorite pasttime for the rest of your life, what would you pick?
Fender Telecaster
Playing guitar.

5) Which song is on the soundtrack of your life?
Plainsong is from The Cure's Disintegration album
Well, how about Plainsong by The Cure...

6) How old were you when you had your first crush? Who was it?
Orange Crush came out the same year the Denver Broncos made it to the Superbowl back when I was a kid. I've had many crushes on many girls.
Let's see, probably 5 or 6 I guess - Launa, my neighbor and very first girlfriend; Sue Ann, a classmate; Mrs. Salazar, a teacher; Jeri, my babysitter

7) If you could read the thoughts of any one person, who would it be?
Microsoft rules!
I doubt if anybody else's thoughts are as interesting as mine, but I'll pick Bill Gates.

8) If you could block your thoughts from only one person, who would it be?
I'd also block my thoughts from anyone who had the power to read my mind.

9) If you could choose between life on earth forever or going to heaven, which would you choose?
I found this image on a Google search for 'Heaven'
heaven, of course.

10) When you die, what will your contribution to the world be?

oh, besides about 133 pounds of fodder.....
mama mia! What a space ode! (click to see the film!)
.....the world's greatest internet meme of all time, An Space Ode!!!!!

Monday, August 14, 2006

An Space Ode

Help spread the next-big-internet-meme! (i.e. this film)

Link to this post OR directly to the video on YouTube by getting your linking and embedding code here. Smaller, downloadable sizes are also available from me if you want to send copies to everyone you know.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Ich Bin Ein Blogger, Part II

"What," you may ask, "do the titles of these last two posts mean?" Nothing. Seriously, nothing. "Why," you may ask, "are you posting a graph of your blog stats today?" Hmm, interesting question, I presume. In response: I have a funny feeling that the charts and graphs that my statcounter uses will no longer be able to contain the number of recorded visits my blog recieves after tomorrow's post. This blog peaked out last week at 106 hits, bottomed out at 28, and averaged out to 71 hits per day. As of tomorrow, the numbers will be infinite, hencely off-the-charts, and theretofore unrecordable, so I'm posting the numbers while it's still possible to do so. Thusly:


I look forward to seeing the effects of tomorrow's post on the internets and Worldly Widened Web, as I'm sure you do as well. Thank you to all my loyal readers and fellow bloggerists - until next time, I bid you adieux.....

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Ich Bin Ein Blogger, Part I

The pwot team recently got an amazing 20,000+ hits in one night on this article discussing the 7 Reasons The 21st Century Is Making Us Miserable. (*note - article contains some colorful language)

If you enjoy that article, you'll really like one of my personal favorites: Inside The Monkeyshere

Also, Bear Slayer is still welcoming brothers-and-sisters-in-arms! Be part of the solution.....

Stop by and say hello to a new blogger here.

Sneak Peek: Many, many, many people are anxiously awaiting the debut of my soon-to-be-unleashed next-big-internet-meme so here's a little preview.....

mysterious, on-the-edge-of-your-seat, nail-biting sneak preview
"What on Earth is this?" you may ask yourself...Here's a hint: it isn't! (on Earth, that is.....)

And, finally, what would one of my posts be without an official home-made joke: (ahem,ahem) Boy, I sure bet there are alot of people in the world who're glad the name of Premarin isn't Premarit!!!!! har,har,har

Saturday, August 05, 2006

2 inFURiating 2 BEAR

One bear's last pic-a-nic for this hapless hiker

leftovers - human remains after bear has feeding frenzy

Do pictures like this upset you? Well, they should. We, as a nation, should be FURious over things like this happening to our fellow man. It's time for all of us to come out of hibernation and join the GRRReat men like Bear Slayer in putting a stop to the Number One (#1) Threat Facing America - killer bears.

Sure, there are those nay-sayers (or rather - nay-slayers) who oppose this movement, but mankind must begin to take this matter more seriously or face grrrave consequenses. Visit Bear Slayer's site for yourself and help support this movement.

Still not taking taking this seriously? Still think this is all just a big lie? A joke, even? Consider the following ancient manuscripts that were recently uncovered in a North American cave:

suspicious trigonometric formulas

But wait, there's more:

suspicious trigonometric formulas

Is it mere coincidence that these ancient formulas were discovered inside a cave - common ground for the man-eating-killing bear? Notice the complete absence of the term ursine in today's mathematical formulae - why has the terminology been changed? Is it to lull mankind into a sense of complacence? Note the frequent use of the bear-friendly spelling of terms such as TriGRRnometric, deFURnition and trianGRRR. Isn't it odd that the formula for urs (ursine) is OPPOSITE SIDE over MANKIND; i.e. our OPPOSING SIDE (bears) reigning OVER MANKIND (us)? So it seems that even though a spelling bee may be smarter than a talking dog, a mathematically-inclined-scientifically-minded-man-eating-killing bear trumps them both.....

Do you not realize that this is proof that bear's were once our master? Do you not now see the dire need to eliminate this furmidable foe? How much longer can mankind bear this threat? This will be no pic-a-nic, but we must stop the bears before it's too late. We did it to the Dodo Birds, we can do it to The Bears.....

Major Buzzkill

".....khhhrrrrr.....that's one right hook for man.....khhrrr.....and one fat lip for another.....khhrrr....."

I am posting this video of Buzz Aldrin punching a guy mostly so I can tell you the whole story behind it:

This was filmed during the making of a documentary by the guy who got clocked by Mr. Aldrin. Apparently, this man had been trying to get Buzz Aldrin to place his hand on a Holy Bible and swear that he did indeed really walk on the moon; Mr. Aldrin absolutely refused to do so - for years and years. This, of course, led the younger man to believe that this was more proof that the entire moon landing was a lie. What was happening before the 20 seconds in the video is the man attempting his usual routine of trying to get Mr. Aldrin to say he'd walked on the moon while placing his hand on a Bible. That's why he was calling him a liar, etc. I'm not posting about the correctness of either man's behavior - I just always found it interesting that Mr. Aldrin so vehemently refused to do so..... After he gets hit, the young man just turns and walks away, asking the cameraman if he "got that on film." Out of this world, huh?

This is all written to the best of my recollection, so I apologize if it's not completely accurate & please don't form any of your own opinions based solely on this post.

Friday, August 04, 2006

The Great Template Debate

Okay, I've decided I'm going to have to force myself to change the look of this blog. I personally liked the way my old red and maroon site looked, but it seems I'm the only one who didn't see that it was actually a pink color scheme. Well, just for the record the name of the old template was Thisaway Rose (NOT Pink lol). Like it as I may, it was slowly becoming a tool used against me by some of my nay-sayers and enemies (you know who you are - or rather, were). Not to worry, you'll still find the same old content here, at least until that becomes a target as well. tee hee

I will have to do a little tweaking, of course, and re-link all of my old sites, but let me know what you think of the brand new same old me! hahaahaaa